So long Muckler

Today it appears that John Muckler is no longer the GM of the Ottawa Senators and that coach Brian Murray is taking over. I don't really have much of an opinion one way or the other except to say that I think Muckler got a bit of a raw deal after putting together a team that made it to the cup finals and on the flip-side Murray did put together the Ducks team that beat him this year.

My one concern is that Pat Quinn is available to take the job as coach. Don't do this. Please. Seriously. Remember how well the Leafs did under him? Remember how well he coached the Olympic teams? Anyone with a couch and a TV can do the job just as well, and will save you cash.

I'm looking forward to seeing what changes will occur over the summer. Just make sure the names Pat and Quinn are not added to the roster and we'll be kosher.

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Sidewalk etiquette, and Hockey etiquette

Dear people with massive umbrellas. What the bloody hell are you compensating for? Yes, I know it’s raining but I manage to be a polite sidewalk user who shares the pavement with other pedestrians while holding my own, reasonably sized, umbrella.

I know it’s wet, gray and early; you probably haven’t had your double-double and a smoke; your blackberry thumb crank snapped off; and your previous life was a water buffalo but that doesn’t mean you need to walk like a water buffalo down the sidewalks as if everyone else is an inconvenience to your stampede. Seriously, go to the golf course with those things and wait for lighting or just get a fat person scooter and act like the rest of us who can share a sidewalk with other human beings are “the ones with the problem.”

Gad! What a pain in the ass walking on the sidewalks is, especially when it’s raining. Ottawa has some of the worst sidewalk etiquette as it is, adding umbrellas to the mix is like adding splinters to burnt toast – a bad thing made unnecessarily worse. I swear I almost uncapped my coffee and tossed it into the crotch of three people with umbrellas that were too big and were bumping into everyone in their path.

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Yes I saw the elbow on Saturday and yes, I think Chris Pronger and his Bob Hope nose deserve the suspension. It was a reaction but it was also intended to hurt the guy.

Yes, I saw the Chris Neil hit, and no it doesn’t deserve to be reviewed although I think he was lucky to avoid a roughing or possibly a charging penalty.

There is a difference between a hit that was penalty worthy and an intent to injure. Guess which one was an intent to injure? Here’s a hint – the other player was knocked out.

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When will Bob Cole realize that Volchenkov plays for Ottawa and that when Spezza turns it over to the Ducks, it isn’t Volchenkov who shoots the puck at Emery? I’m just saying, it’s happened like three times this series.

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And finally, when will Redden be traded? That guy should, at least, be benched. I'm sure he's a nice enough guy, does well for the community, etc etc, blah blah blah. He's one of the highest paid players on the team and seems to want to play for the Ducks since he's giving them the puck so much. I keep hearing that he's better than this but I haven't seen it. I really think he needs to get his shit together or should be shown the door (or the pine).

Isn’t Sheldon Surray up on waivers this summer?

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MMMMmmm, Crow

A day after I get my letter published it seems the mayor has put up a JumboTron on the grounds of City Hall for the games.

Why didn't I hear about this until last night? Did anyone else know?

It's family friendly, which means if you want to bring booze you'll have to wrap it up in tin foil and disguise it like a mini-Stanley Cup. Be creative.

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Monday Meme - two separate ideas melding into one form

Call the doctor, because I got Ottawa Senators fever. The only known cure is the Stanley Cup.

I do have to say that I'm exceptionally happy that the fans have managed to rise their heads out from the sea of beige normally unassailable in this city. For the first time cheers are based around support for the Senators rather than fueled by anti-Leaf sentiment. I like that. I'm happy about that although it seems to have just been recalibrated towards the amorphous media for not being totally behind the Senators - the anouncers, Don "I will abuse plaid until you all gouge out your eyes Cherry, and well, the rest of Canada really are all being targeted for not supporting the Sens. My thoughts are why the heck should they? Because we'll support any Canadian team in the finals doesn't mean we should expect the same when it's our team.

Yes, I'm no big Leafs fan but if they were in the cup I'd be 100% behind them, but that's just me. Same for the Habs, Canucks, Flames, Oilers and that possible new team that the Blackberry guy might move across the border. I know this comes from my years in the UK where I, even to this day, couldn't stand Manchester United unless they were playing against European teams. Old alliances go by the wayside when a common enemy is presented - or you know and English team plays the Germans, kind of like when a Canadian team plays an American one. But the thing is, I don't expect the rest of Canada to be like me the rest of the world would get suspiscious, or maybe jealous.

I’ll be watching the game tonight with my in-laws. Also, that’s pretty much the reason I haven’t posted anything this past weekend, and haven’t been able to plan ahead for this week. Expect light content. Now that I’ve written that I’ll end up producing a treatise on metaphysics in an hour or so.

Meanwhile, enjoy Rock Scissors Paper version 2.0

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First time author

First time seeing my name in print next to something I've written. Tomorrow, I start phase two.

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Go Sens Go!

Just got back from the Senators Rally at City Hall. I couldn't stay too long though without risking my gainful employment - thankfully it's almost directly across the street from me. It was alright although I can't for the life of me figure out why they would hold it on a Thursday at lunch time.

There was a parade of former Senators and lots of t-shirts, jerseys and Roman Centurians, which is great to see.

What was weird was the people on stage, Stuntman Stu (who I highly doubt has any stuntman credits) and the penis shaped mayor kept repeating how Ottawa is the greatest place to live, not just a little shabby government town. They actually said that. All I could think was, sure, all the public servants sure couldn't take 2 hours in the middle of a Thursday to watch a slap-dash pep-rally. I'm a bit tired of hearing people try to unsuccessfully defend Ottawa as a city. It is what it is, let those of us trying to make it reach its potential get on with the job. I'm tired of the knee-jerk reaction to a few obviously pertinent observations about the nation's capital.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, the city did a decent job for such short notice. I love the Senators fans because I'm one as well. I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to this team and yes, I'm quick to dispair but that's what being a fan is all about. Heck I used to be a Nordiques fan before I moved to Ottawa, and I with David Ljunggren as a member of the Toon Army supporting Newcastle United. I love the Sens fans, the fans are what make this city a hockey town because we know the civic leaders will cock it all up or generally take yet another opportunity for greatness, coat it in beige and just Ottawa-up the whole thing.

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Still no Jumbo-tron

This Thursday, May 26 from 11:30 a.m to 2:00 p.m. there will be a party for the Ottawa Senators at city hall. At first I thought, what the fucking fuck? You're hosting a rally nobody can attend, then I remembered the amount of non-private sector people working in the downtown core and figured less damage happens when they're not at their desks. Also, it's during lunch hours, so no biggie for the rest of us.

So while this still isn't a Jumbo-tron to watch the final series on Parliament Hill, it is something.

I'm posting this because at it's core this event feels very un-Ottawa-like, but they've managed to still make it somehow less celebratory. I mean Thursday? C'mon. Put it on Friday and people just won't go back to work. THAT would be a party. Although less likely that any players would show up.

And I can't let anything go without somehow criticizing it, so read the announcement on the City Hall website. It says the crowd can be the 'sixth man' or as I like to call the sixth man, "the goalie." I know the person writing the release wanted to use that old band cliche where they say the fifth member of the band is the audience but watch a game sometime.

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Also, I heard a student from Ottawa U taking credit for my Jumbo-tron idea. I don't care because he actually contacted the NCC and other outlets - go Jumbo-tron Sens!

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Two-Four Weekend Update

Not much time for writing posts online as it was a nice long weekend that saw the Senators going to the Stanley Cup Finals. I drank, I cheered, I saw about twenty Hell’s Angels get stopped by the police in front of the pub just as the first puck was being dropped, I went to Elgin to celebrate with the masses.

Now, Harper, get that big screen on Parliament Hill. It was packed just by making it to the finals, so you know it’ll be twice as busy when the Sens win. Get that screen up, and you won’t have to go out to Kanata to watch a game, you can watch it with all of us in front of the House of Commons.

That would be totally awesome (so it probably won’t happen).

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Open Letter to Stephen Harper

Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

I hope you are doing well for the last three weeks of parliament and that the duffle bag full of personal hygiene products the RCMP treated like a bomb doesn’t distract you from getting the business of the governing the country. But that’s not why I’m writing, I’m writing because I know how you can win the next election.

When the Senators make the Stanley Cup finals put a huge HDTV on the front lawn of the Houses of Parliament and broadcast all the games. Yes, I know Buffalo is already doing this in front of their arena but have you tried to get to the Sensplex? You’ll understand why so many Maple Leaf fans get to it since you’re splitting the distance between Ottawa and Toronto. Also, you know that when the Senators win all the bars in the market, on Elgin and Bank streets will empty as the inebriated crowds march to capital hill so they can sing O Canada (although I doubt the French verse would make the cut). This happened when Canada won gold in ice hockey at the Olympics all those years ago.

I know you’ll take this into consideration, and you don’t have to dress it up as a campaign stunt if you don’t want to. Heck, I know parliamentarians would all like to see these games on our national capital, they spent enough times in committee over our World Cup of Hockey captain and nobody really watches that when there is a Canadian team in the NHL playoffs.

Also, I know you guys have big screens because I’ve been to Remembrance Day celebrations, Canada Day celebrations and Bluesfest. I say dust it off and let’s fly the flag of bone crunch body checks and slap-shots as we watch Canada’s team bring the cup back home. Seriously, don’t make me have to write Larry O’Brien to see if he’ll set up a big screen in front of the Provincial Building/City Hall next to Laurier (where they used to hold the Bluesfest).

I know the Senators don’t have the same fanbase as the Toronto Maple Leafs, but they will be winning so let’s make it the ultimate experience.

Thanks for your time and consideration,

Jon Cormier

Tell your friends, maybe someone will get this to actually happen.

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