Emma Clarke - you made my day

Having come to Ottawa via London I am extremely familiar with the Tube Lady's announcements. I'm sad and disappointed in that city's officials for firing her over some spoof mp3s she's recorded and posted on her own website. They are exceptionally brilliant and can be found in the meantime on metafilter. Reading these false announcements has really made my day because they are just brilliant life observations that are pretty much applicable to any city.

They are all favourites, but in particular I like:

We'd like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loud."

and

"Here we are again, crammed into a sweaty tube carriage. And today's Wednesday - only two more days until you can binge drink yourself into a state of denial about the mediocrity of you life. Oh, for Goodness sake, if you're female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He probably hasn't had sex for months"

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